A Bench in The Park.

I met Rita and Douglas on a beautiful Fall afternoon in Central Park.  I was relaxing on a bench and they were sitting next to me. So I told them of my project to interview older couples in the park. I said I noticed that they were sitting very close together, and there was something about them that told me their story was a beautiful one. Douglas was happy to continue the conversation and said maybe I felt their connection because they were sitting on their very own bench.  Then he showed me the silver sign that read "Rita and Douglas' Bench" and  mentioned that he had given her the bench for her 75Th birthday. I asked Rita to tell me what she remembered of the first time she met her husband of 55 years. Judging by the level of affection they displayed for each other, I was expecting a love at first sight type of answer, but she said "We met in a very small elevator at work, it was 1953, and I don't remember feeling anything at all". Douglas said he thought she was very cute and a few days later invited her out for dinner on a Thursday night. He mentioned that he chose Thursday because he thought his chances of her turning him down were smaller than if he asked for a Friday or a Saturday night date. Rita laughed, and said she did not remember being crazy about him on their first few dates, but that at some point she fell madly in love with him. She could not describe exactly what she loved about him, and they both agreed that their feelings for each other could not be put into words, it just felt natural. But Rita kept saying she thought he was very handsome and that was why she accepted to go out with him. Douglas mentioned that after about a month of fun dates Rita broke into tears and said she had to confess that she was older than him. She was 22 and Douglas was 21. Apparently he did not have a problem going out with an "older" woman so they started dating. Then Douglas was called into the army to take a post overseas. He said that she considered ending the relationship but that thankfully it did not happen. Rita explained that her family was Catholic and his family was Episcopalian. A decision had to be made, and her family did not approve of her marriage plans to a protestant. Finally Rita decided to get married in an Episcopalian church, but her family did not attend the wedding, except for one of her brothers. She said that she followed her intuition and was determined to stand by the person she loved even if her family did not support her. Shortly after the ceremony they moved to Europe so Douglas could take his post in a U.S. army base. Both said that being away from their families was a blessing because they could make their relationship stronger on their own. They moved back to New York City  a few years later and had four children, three daughters and one son. Rita's family came around after a while and they welcomed Douglas. Fast forward 50 something years and they are happily sitting on their own Central Park bench talking to a stranger about their love story. Their advice for young lovers was that a love of 57 years can only be sustained if the couple was very very very much in love at the start. "You need to build up a lot of steam first, because it's a long ride" said Rita, and then she told her husband that she loved him. Douglas put his arms around her and mentioned that tolerance and acceptance was a big part of the recipe too.  They also said that not every day of the last 57 years had been perfect. Rita was clear that "sometimes you have to put up with craziness " but both agreed that all in all they had always had a lot of fun together. Rita and Douglas said they had never really given much thought as to why they loved each other so much, love was just always there, and most of the time, " it all felt right".  But it was easy to see that "it" was all in the details. Rita told me her husband had given her the bench as a present for her 75Th birthday and that for her 80Th birthday he arranged to pick her up in a 1950's  pink Cadillac, and then took her out to dinner. She smiled and specified that it was a convertible and there was Elvis music on the stereo. If that is the kind of fun they are having after over half a century of being together, it's easy to imagine what was there at the beginning.