A Serendipitous Encounter With My Inspiration

My dog Lila is the most fun loving birthday gift I've ever gotten and I credit her with making me discover the amazing beauty of Central Park. Before I got her, I had never been "forced" to go on early morning walks every day, so I didn't really pay much attention to the daily changes in the park. The first snow falls and ice covered trees in the Winter; the budding purple crocuses that signal the Spring; the deep green grass of the Summer; and the rainbow of colored leafs in the Fall. 

We always enter the park on 68Th Street and 5Th Avenue and walk down a small path lined with green benches. About three years ago I noticed a bench with a silver sign  that said "Reserved For Lovers Only. 40 Joyous Years. Evelyn and Leonard Lauder".

I realized I knew who they were and remembered reading about them. They are the couple that owns the Estee Lauder cosmetics company, and Leonard is the son of the famous Estee Lauder. The sign was very inspirational so I sat down on the bench and thought that one day I should interview older couples in the park, and ask them about the secrets behind their love stories. How about the secrets for something like "40 Joyous Years" ?    I thought that was definitely the kind of subject that was worthy of some real research. At some point, but I don't remember when, I saw another bench, not far from the first one, and it said: "To my beloved Evelyn. Our 50Th anniversary is just the beginning. Love as always. Leonard". After reading the sign I thought Leonard was clearly a very smart man, that had to be one of the secrets for sure. 

I finally started writing this blog last weekend after meeting an amazing couple, Rita and Douglas. But life has serendipitous events that happen when you least expect them, and this morning I was to meet the source of my inspiration, face to face. As I was exiting the park on the path that leads back to 5Th Avenue, I saw an older and very elegant man sitting on a bench and busily talking on his cellphone. I immediately recognized him, I had seen his picture before, it was Leonard Lauder. I really wanted to say hi to him, but was so nervous. I mean, he is only one of the richest people in New York; and I felt he would probably not be too happy to have to greet an intrusive stranger that approached him in the park. But I felt I had to talk to him, so I waited until he finished his call, I summoned my courage to approach him and said:  "Hi Mr. Lauder, I wanted to tell you that I love your benches and I think they are the most romantic places to relax in the park" He gave me a big smile, then shook my hand warmly and said "Thank you dear, that's very kind of you, I will tell my wife". 

I was so happy to meet him, and was relieved because he didn't seem  bothered at all, but instead was so nice to me. I guess he doesn't get approached that often by petite girls with small dogs that congratulate him for being romantic with his wife; and for his messages on park benches. Probably other more business oriented references come first when someone says "Hi" to Mr. Lauder. 

Many articles have been written about him, his wife and their financial empire, so I will not attempt to give you my limited version here. What I can say is that it is clear that they have always known what is truly important in life. Leonard Lauder is also a very lucky man because his wife is a very smart and caring woman. Evelyn Lauder was born in Vienna in 1937,  as a child she was forced to flee the persecution of Nazi-ruled Austria and ended up in New York. She later became a public school teacher in Harlem, and in 1955 she met Leonard on a blind date that was set up by one of her high school friends. From the start Evelyn created a very good relationship with Estee Lauder, who would soon become her mother in law, and later would make her one of the creative forces and the Senior Vice President of their family run business, Estee Lauder Companies. Evelyn is admirable because she  has used her power and recognition to raise awareness for one of the most important issues for women's health. She established the Breast Cancer Research Foundation in 1992, and she is the creator of  the pink ribbon campaign, that has  so far raised million of dollars for breast cancer. Following her successful idea, many other health related campaigns have chosen a different ribbon color for their causes. For me, Evelyn and Leonard are an inspirational couple because they have taken full advantage of the abundance that life has given them, and they have not lost sight of what is truly important. Love, partnership, creativity, contribution, and the celebration of it all. This is why after I saw their bench for the first time,  I knew they would be the inspiration for a subject worthy of research; "40 Joyous Years" and they are still counting, this year it's 55.  Mazel Tov ! and may they enjoy many more years together!

If you want to read more about them, their story, and what they have contributed to others, follow this link for a Wall Street Journal article. 

http://magazine.wsj.com/hunter/the-partnership/chemical-attraction/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/evelyn-lauder

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/Lauder.html

If you want to contribute to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation

http://www.pinkribbon.com/

http://www.esteelauder.com/pinkribbon/

A Bench in The Park.

I met Rita and Douglas on a beautiful Fall afternoon in Central Park.  I was relaxing on a bench and they were sitting next to me. So I told them of my project to interview older couples in the park. I said I noticed that they were sitting very close together, and there was something about them that told me their story was a beautiful one. Douglas was happy to continue the conversation and said maybe I felt their connection because they were sitting on their very own bench.  Then he showed me the silver sign that read "Rita and Douglas' Bench" and  mentioned that he had given her the bench for her 75Th birthday. I asked Rita to tell me what she remembered of the first time she met her husband of 55 years. Judging by the level of affection they displayed for each other, I was expecting a love at first sight type of answer, but she said "We met in a very small elevator at work, it was 1953, and I don't remember feeling anything at all". Douglas said he thought she was very cute and a few days later invited her out for dinner on a Thursday night. He mentioned that he chose Thursday because he thought his chances of her turning him down were smaller than if he asked for a Friday or a Saturday night date. Rita laughed, and said she did not remember being crazy about him on their first few dates, but that at some point she fell madly in love with him. She could not describe exactly what she loved about him, and they both agreed that their feelings for each other could not be put into words, it just felt natural. But Rita kept saying she thought he was very handsome and that was why she accepted to go out with him. Douglas mentioned that after about a month of fun dates Rita broke into tears and said she had to confess that she was older than him. She was 22 and Douglas was 21. Apparently he did not have a problem going out with an "older" woman so they started dating. Then Douglas was called into the army to take a post overseas. He said that she considered ending the relationship but that thankfully it did not happen. Rita explained that her family was Catholic and his family was Episcopalian. A decision had to be made, and her family did not approve of her marriage plans to a protestant. Finally Rita decided to get married in an Episcopalian church, but her family did not attend the wedding, except for one of her brothers. She said that she followed her intuition and was determined to stand by the person she loved even if her family did not support her. Shortly after the ceremony they moved to Europe so Douglas could take his post in a U.S. army base. Both said that being away from their families was a blessing because they could make their relationship stronger on their own. They moved back to New York City  a few years later and had four children, three daughters and one son. Rita's family came around after a while and they welcomed Douglas. Fast forward 50 something years and they are happily sitting on their own Central Park bench talking to a stranger about their love story. Their advice for young lovers was that a love of 57 years can only be sustained if the couple was very very very much in love at the start. "You need to build up a lot of steam first, because it's a long ride" said Rita, and then she told her husband that she loved him. Douglas put his arms around her and mentioned that tolerance and acceptance was a big part of the recipe too.  They also said that not every day of the last 57 years had been perfect. Rita was clear that "sometimes you have to put up with craziness " but both agreed that all in all they had always had a lot of fun together. Rita and Douglas said they had never really given much thought as to why they loved each other so much, love was just always there, and most of the time, " it all felt right".  But it was easy to see that "it" was all in the details. Rita told me her husband had given her the bench as a present for her 75Th birthday and that for her 80Th birthday he arranged to pick her up in a 1950's  pink Cadillac, and then took her out to dinner. She smiled and specified that it was a convertible and there was Elvis music on the stereo. If that is the kind of fun they are having after over half a century of being together, it's easy to imagine what was there at the beginning.